The last

few days havent been the best for me.
im not sure what to do,
and i cant stop this feeling.
i dont think i couldnt handle not having it.
but i dont think i could handle pretending everything is okay.

trying endlessly to be more than i can be.
or am i jsut not trying hard enough?

ahhh this is somewhat comical.

break even tonight, though.
im happy for that.

i only wanted one thing for my birthday.
but i shouldnt be so selfish.