Dear Anon.

i want to love you, and have no fucking idea how much it kills me feeling like an empty vessel, a failure to the core

to feel like i can never be this one thing
the only thing i truly want
every other dream is just second-place to having you next to me
to feeling your warmth when i wake up, you hand in mine when i do the most mundane of things

to fill that void that was torn two years ago.
i haven't spoken about this is so long.
and i don't speak about it to anyone.

and it fucking scares the shit out of me.

im a dreamer, because i am to afraid to do what i want.

i have a clinical fear of success.
and yes, i have sort help for this.

everything seems just out of reach.